Sunday, December 7, 2008

I wanted to post a few pictures of what I have for the girls. I made a shadow box with the molds of their footprints and the hats that they wore in the hospital. I'm not sure that it's completely done yet because I may paint part of the molds so that the feet stand out more, but I'm not sure. I also may put their names on the molds, but Alexis is on the left (she had Rob's toes) and Ashlen is on the right (with my toes).
Photobucket

We finally got the girls ashes from the funeral home the other day and they are in the silver box in the picture below. I had two keepsake boxes that I bought for their ashes, but then all of my BBC friends, who are totally awesome, sent me some gifts, one of which was the keepsake box below. Rob and I loved it because it had the two hearts on top and then we could put their ashes together in one box. I had their names and the date engraved on the heart as well. I also took all of the cards we've received and tied a ribbon around them and am going to leave them out. The two angels and the angel ornament were also gifts from a friend and family.

Photobucket

So I go back to work in a little over a week and I guess it's time. I have been keeping myself busy though by helping out Rob a ton with the business and packing up our stuff. We move into the new house at the first of the year and we are really excited. It just feels like a fresh start, I guess. So another year down. I really hope the last two years are the worst years that I ever have. I'm not sure how much more heartache I can take. Rob and I have talked a lot about losing the girls and for some reason, it is just so much harder this time. We really are doing better though, considering. Out of all of the special powers we could have, I have always wanted to be able to see the future. If I could just see our family in the future and know that we were able to have kids, I could just breath a sigh of relief. Until then, I'm holding my breath.

9 comments:

Never forgetting Gregory said...

These are beautiful. What a nice tribute. I can't imagine what you and Rob are going through...I've only lost ONE baby. My thoughts are with you as always. I think we can all understand why your uncertainty of the future is so scary. Hugs.

Mrs. Spit said...

I've been thinking about you and wondering.

thanks for the update. Glad you are remembering the wee ones.

((((Hugs))))

Brenna's Mom said...

I'm holding it right along with you.

Jill Scott said...

I have thought about you and your beautiful angels since I heard but could not think of the right words to say - your tribute to them is amazing, the pictures beautiful and your strength awe inspiring

Amanda said...

So much of what you have "said" in your blog have been the same things I have felt. I find the loss of Logan has hit me and hurt me in a way completely different from when we lost our Emma. Or maybe it was just that I had "dealt" with that grief and this was just too much. Just truly take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. And always rely on one another. The things you have for the girls are so very special. You take care and Rob too.

Thinking of you always...

(((((HUGS)))))

Leana said...

The shadow box is so beautiful, and and I am glad the girls are together in their silver keepsake box. I understand completely what you mean about how if only you could see the future and know there was a living baby in it, things would be so much easier. I cannot see the future, but I can feel it, and I feel your earth baby is out there . . . and is coming.

candisue said...

Jen and Rob, I have put off writing for way too long...you have been on my mind and in my heart so much...and I cannot control the tears when I think of you and your great loses. You are always in my prayers, and I hope to see you soon. The things you have done in memory to the girls are fabulous. I love you two so much...the Lord richly bless you this Christmas and all through the new year...Candi

Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I found and followed your blog with Makenna after her birth.
I was so thrilled to see you were expecting twins and now am completely heartbroken for you and your husband and family.
All I can do is offer my sincere condolences and keep you all in my prayers. May God lift you up and hold your babies close.
I am so sorry for your losses.

Amy Peterson said...

These are beautiful Jenny! I didn't realize you were continuing to write on this site but I am so glad you are! I know your dad is taking good care of your girls for you. We love you so much!