Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Well, I got through Christmas, but it was the worst Christmas of my life. My dad passed away unexpectedly on the evening of Christmas. What a shock that was to me...and still is. I honestly thought this year couldn't get any worse, but I was wrong. The only consulation I get from this is knowing that he is with my three girls right now. I absolutely cannot wait until 2009 and I don't ever want to look back. Good riddance 2008.

Monday, December 15, 2008

A Year Ago Today...

Today is exactly one year since our daughter Makenna was stillborn. Here is a link to my post on her blog.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Thank you

I just got an amazing gift and wanted to say thank you and since I don't know how to reach this person, this is the only way that I know how to do it. I just received some beautiful wind chimes that has all three of our daughter's names engraved on the center piece. This was sent by a women who is a total stranger and was sent our blog by a friend of a friend and was following our story.

Thank you for so much for the beautiful gift, card, and prayers and for reaching out to a total stranger. I am truly touched by this!

While I'm at it, thank you to everyone that has reached out to us. Thank you for the cards, meals, flowers, and gifts. We really do appreciate it. Thank you for calling, even though I probably don't call you back (I've always been really bad at that). Thank you for putting up with my moods. Thank you BBC ladies for being so generous and amazing. Over a month later, when many people have already forgotten, so many of you have not and that means a lot.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I wanted to post a few pictures of what I have for the girls. I made a shadow box with the molds of their footprints and the hats that they wore in the hospital. I'm not sure that it's completely done yet because I may paint part of the molds so that the feet stand out more, but I'm not sure. I also may put their names on the molds, but Alexis is on the left (she had Rob's toes) and Ashlen is on the right (with my toes).

We finally got the girls ashes from the funeral home the other day and they are in the silver box in the picture below. I had two keepsake boxes that I bought for their ashes, but then all of my BBC friends, who are totally awesome, sent me some gifts, one of which was the keepsake box below. Rob and I loved it because it had the two hearts on top and then we could put their ashes together in one box. I had their names and the date engraved on the heart as well. I also took all of the cards we've received and tied a ribbon around them and am going to leave them out. The two angels and the angel ornament were also gifts from a friend and family.


So I go back to work in a little over a week and I guess it's time. I have been keeping myself busy though by helping out Rob a ton with the business and packing up our stuff. We move into the new house at the first of the year and we are really excited. It just feels like a fresh start, I guess. So another year down. I really hope the last two years are the worst years that I ever have. I'm not sure how much more heartache I can take. Rob and I have talked a lot about losing the girls and for some reason, it is just so much harder this time. We really are doing better though, considering. Out of all of the special powers we could have, I have always wanted to be able to see the future. If I could just see our family in the future and know that we were able to have kids, I could just breath a sigh of relief. Until then, I'm holding my breath.