Not much news to report today, which is good. Rob and I met with Dr. K last night, after we made our decision. It's funny because option C was never even given to us, but when we told him that is what we were going to do, he seemed to think that it sounded good and went on to tell us how aggressive they would be with treatment. He didn't sugar coat anything though and made it clear that I would get an infection, it was just a matter of when. It's just strange how he seemed to change his tune a little. The nurses are all pulling for us too and seemed very happy with the decision we made. Today went by fast, so now we're just another day closer to the steroid shots. 9 days away, in fact. Stay away infection!
Baby A does worry me a little though, because she is so low! Over the last few days, they keep finding her heartrate lower and lower. It's about as low as it could possibly be. We know she's still breech, but I'm not sure if she's butt down or feet down. I feel more pressure on my bladder too, so I know she is right there, itching to get out. I wish she would just move up a little.
I also wanted to say that Rob and I are truly touched by all of the comments you have all left and we definitely feel your prayers. We just want to say thank you to all of our friends, family, the BBC ladies, and all of the strangers that have taken the time to read the blog and pray for us. I know God is listening.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
10/30 Update #2
Well, got more bad news today and it's not looking good. We still have hope though. Basically, because my water has broken, I am at a huge risk for infection. It's basically when, not if. Since I have twins and since the bag of water is hanging down and I'm a little dialated, it puts me more at risk. Dr. K and the peri consulted today after my ultrasound and then gave me two options:
Option A: Induce labor now and deliver Baby A (who would live for a very short period of time). Then hope that Baby B does not also come down, cut Baby A's cord, shove it all back up, and hope my cervix closes. Then hope that I don't get an infection and try to keep Baby B in for as long as possible. When infection does set it, they would have to deliver Baby B, or both of our lives would be at risk. The chances of saving Baby B this way is less than 2%.
Option B: Induce labor and deliver both babies (who would live for a very short period of time). They actually said 'empty my uterus'. Wow, nice wording.
I told my Dr. K that these two options are not acceptable to me. I asked them what about Option C, which is do nothing. He said we could do that if we wanted, but I am at a huge risk for infection and it's a matter of when, not if. He said infection could set in within hours, days, or weeks. Once signs of infection are here, they would have to immediately induce labor otherwise we would all die from the infection.
Rob and I decided that we will not choose which babies get to live or die and are leaving it in God's hands. So I will either go into labor at any point and deliver, or we just wait for infection and then deliver. Either way, I am hoping that it is weeks or months from now. If we can just get to 24 weeks, they have a chance! Obviously, I have been slightly hysterical on and off today, but am hanging in there. I feel like I'm just not prepared to deal with this all over again, so we really need a miracle.
Option A: Induce labor now and deliver Baby A (who would live for a very short period of time). Then hope that Baby B does not also come down, cut Baby A's cord, shove it all back up, and hope my cervix closes. Then hope that I don't get an infection and try to keep Baby B in for as long as possible. When infection does set it, they would have to deliver Baby B, or both of our lives would be at risk. The chances of saving Baby B this way is less than 2%.
Option B: Induce labor and deliver both babies (who would live for a very short period of time). They actually said 'empty my uterus'. Wow, nice wording.
I told my Dr. K that these two options are not acceptable to me. I asked them what about Option C, which is do nothing. He said we could do that if we wanted, but I am at a huge risk for infection and it's a matter of when, not if. He said infection could set in within hours, days, or weeks. Once signs of infection are here, they would have to immediately induce labor otherwise we would all die from the infection.
Rob and I decided that we will not choose which babies get to live or die and are leaving it in God's hands. So I will either go into labor at any point and deliver, or we just wait for infection and then deliver. Either way, I am hoping that it is weeks or months from now. If we can just get to 24 weeks, they have a chance! Obviously, I have been slightly hysterical on and off today, but am hanging in there. I feel like I'm just not prepared to deal with this all over again, so we really need a miracle.
10/30 Update
Well, I had my ultrasound today and the news was not great. They confirmed that my water from Baby A did break and she is extremely low. Since the bag was no longer there, they couldn't tell how dialated I am from the ultrasound and are going to do an internal exam sometime later today. They had told me previously that nothing would change if my water broke so there is nothing new really. I am still getting antibiotics to keep infection away and they are still giving me meds to stop contractions. I have been having a lot more contractions too, so they are now giving me a couple of different meds to stop labor. I have also been bleeding a lot and they aren't sure why, but it doesn't seem like it could be good news.
I'm trying not to be really upset right now and remember all of the great stories, but it is hard. I feel like I could just go into labor at any time now and they won't be able to stop it. We just need a few more weeks! Please keep praying.
I'm trying not to be really upset right now and remember all of the great stories, but it is hard. I feel like I could just go into labor at any time now and they won't be able to stop it. We just need a few more weeks! Please keep praying.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10/29 Update
Still not much action here, which is always nice. I've been having some issues with my catheter (about as much fun as it sounds) and now everyone thinks that maybe I haven't been leaking as much amniotic fluid as they thought, which would be good. I'm pretty positive my water hasn't broken either, because Baby A is very low and keeps kicking my cervix (little stinker) and I almost feel like I can feel it vibrating all the way through me. That just makes me think that my bag of water is probably hanging pretty low. They did decide to do another ultrasound tomorrow, so they will be able to confirm if my water has broken and see how far I am dialated. I sure hope it hasn't changed for the worse!
I keep hearing more and more stories from people that delivered around 23-24 weeks that are doing good. Thanks for the encouraging news everyone!
I keep hearing more and more stories from people that delivered around 23-24 weeks that are doing good. Thanks for the encouraging news everyone!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
10/28 Update
Not much change today, which is good. I'm still leaking quite a bit of fluid throughout the day, but the peri and Dr. K both seem to think that my water has not broken. There is no way to know for sure without an ultrasound, but I won't get another one unless something changes. Maybe it's better that I don't know because if I found out it did, I may worry a little more.
With all of my free time, I've been looking for survival stories of preemies and have seen some cases of preemies born at 22 and 23 weeks that have not only survived, but haven't had long term issues. I know this is not common, but it does happen. Both doctors have said they will start steroid shots at 24 weeks, but I told them I would like to start at 23 weeks instead. My peri said if I want to do that it's fine. He did say, however, that the goal is to have a child that someday rides the long bus, not the short bus. :) I guess that can be offensive, but I didn't take it that way. I think he's just trying to let me know that chances of having long term issues that early are high. Anyway, he's very positive and seems to think I'll be here for awhile, which is what I want to hear. The steroids are two separate shots, and each shot takes 48 hours before the full benefit is seen, so if I started at 23 weeks, they would be in full affect 4 days later.
They are also going to have a neonatologist come speak with me to give me more information on what to expect. Here is what I've read so far:
With all of my free time, I've been looking for survival stories of preemies and have seen some cases of preemies born at 22 and 23 weeks that have not only survived, but haven't had long term issues. I know this is not common, but it does happen. Both doctors have said they will start steroid shots at 24 weeks, but I told them I would like to start at 23 weeks instead. My peri said if I want to do that it's fine. He did say, however, that the goal is to have a child that someday rides the long bus, not the short bus. :) I guess that can be offensive, but I didn't take it that way. I think he's just trying to let me know that chances of having long term issues that early are high. Anyway, he's very positive and seems to think I'll be here for awhile, which is what I want to hear. The steroids are two separate shots, and each shot takes 48 hours before the full benefit is seen, so if I started at 23 weeks, they would be in full affect 4 days later.
They are also going to have a neonatologist come speak with me to give me more information on what to expect. Here is what I've read so far:
- A baby born at 24 weeks gestation has about a 50 percent chance of survival.
- A baby born at 26 weeks gestation has about an 80 percent chance of survival.
- A baby born at 28 weeks gestation has about a 91 percent chance of survival. For a baby born after 28 weeks and weighing more than 3 pounds, the chances of survival are even further increased.
- After 32 weeks gestation, a baby has a 96 percent chance of survival and a significant decrease in the chances of suffering significant health problems. Babies born between the 34th and 36th week of pregnancy are likely to have minor developmental delays, but are not likely to experience any long-term effects.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Daily Update
Well, another day down. I've been leaking amniotic fluid since I've been here, but it's possible that my water broke last night. It's hard to say because I was asleep and didn't feel a gush, so just don't know for sure and they just gauge it by how much has leaked out. They can't do any internal exams because if the bag is still there, it will rupture, so not sure if I'm dialated more than the 3cm from yesterday. Still no contractions though, which is good. They are already treating me as if my water broke since I've been here and they won't change treatment either way. I'm on antibiotics to keep infection away and on meds to keep contractions away. Other than that, we wait.
I got my own room yesterday (big yay!), but my roomate's water broke at 18 weeks and is still here and is now 25 weeks, so it can happen! My peri also told me the longest he's seen is a water break at 21 weeks and she didn't deliver until 35 weeks. Another story of hope for me. I'll be 24 weeks Nov 16th, so that is my minimum goal...just three weeks away. My hospital is supposed to have one of best NICU's in northern CA as well, so I'm in the right spot.
I got my own room yesterday (big yay!), but my roomate's water broke at 18 weeks and is still here and is now 25 weeks, so it can happen! My peri also told me the longest he's seen is a water break at 21 weeks and she didn't deliver until 35 weeks. Another story of hope for me. I'll be 24 weeks Nov 16th, so that is my minimum goal...just three weeks away. My hospital is supposed to have one of best NICU's in northern CA as well, so I'm in the right spot.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Pray for a miracle
Just wanted to update you all on what is going on right now. I took a turn for the worse on Saturday and am on strict bedrest at the hospital. Saturday morning, I went to the bathroom and felt my bag of water coming out! I immediately rushed to the hospital. I am in a hospital bed with the feet up and head down to take the pressure off. They did an ultrasound and could see the bag of waters coming through the cervix, which meant I had to be a little dialated, but not really enough to show much on the u/s. They are giving me meds to try and reduce the amniotic fluid in the hopes that the bag will go back and and they can give me a cerclage (they stitch the cervix closed).
Well, another u/s today revealed that I am now 3cm dialated and the bag of waters is coming out even more, which is not good. This means that I cannot get the cerclage. I am having no contractions, which is good, but am still dialating. Now it is just a waiting game to see when my water breaks. I am currently 21 weeks and if I deliver anytime before 24 weeks, there is no chance that they will survive. There are so many scenarios on what could happen and when, so we really just have no idea what could happen. Obviously, we could lose one or both of our little girls. Once I get to 24 weeks, they will give me steroids to help develop the babies lungs to increase their chance of survival. If we can just make it 3 more weeks, they have a chance!
Rob and I are scared, but hanging in there. Obviously we do not want 3 baby girls in heaven...we want to raise these 2 on earth! We really do appreciate all of your prayers and support. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I do feel a sense of peace right now and that can only come from God at a time like this. I know He hears all of our prayers. I know that God can grant us a miracle and that we can bring these girls home.
Well, another u/s today revealed that I am now 3cm dialated and the bag of waters is coming out even more, which is not good. This means that I cannot get the cerclage. I am having no contractions, which is good, but am still dialating. Now it is just a waiting game to see when my water breaks. I am currently 21 weeks and if I deliver anytime before 24 weeks, there is no chance that they will survive. There are so many scenarios on what could happen and when, so we really just have no idea what could happen. Obviously, we could lose one or both of our little girls. Once I get to 24 weeks, they will give me steroids to help develop the babies lungs to increase their chance of survival. If we can just make it 3 more weeks, they have a chance!
Rob and I are scared, but hanging in there. Obviously we do not want 3 baby girls in heaven...we want to raise these 2 on earth! We really do appreciate all of your prayers and support. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I do feel a sense of peace right now and that can only come from God at a time like this. I know He hears all of our prayers. I know that God can grant us a miracle and that we can bring these girls home.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
House arrest...I mean rest
Well, we had a little scare last night. I had some spotting and contractions, so we went to the hospital to be monitored. At home, I was having them about every 15 minutes and they were lasting about 20 seconds, so not too bad. After talking to my doctor, I drank a ton of water, which is supposed to help and it did. I decided to go to the hospital anyway, just to be checked out. By the time we got there, the contractions had calmed down a bit and they called it irritable uterus. They gave me some meds to help stop the contractions and then I got a detailed ultrasound. There were no tears in the placenta, which my doctor thought could have been causing the bleeding, and my cervix is long and closed, which means my body isn't getting ready for labor. They told me this is actually quite common with twins and not much to worry about. If I start bleeding again or have more than 6 contractions per hour, then I need to go back. I basically have to just rest and drink a TON of water (like 14 glasses a day).
So I talked to my doctor today to discuss everything and he said that I am now on house rest and can only leave the house for appointments. Also, no more work, so it's disability for me! I can't cook or clean, or anything of that nature, so basically I have to just rest and lay around all day. Not too bad, I guess. I'm sure I'll be dying of boredom soon, but I'll do anything to keep these babies baking.
Just wanted to add that if anyone is thinking that Thanksgiving should now not be at our house, think again! I will want visitors more than ever, and this just allows more people to wait on me. I'm sure Rob will appreciate that. :) Seriously though, we are still having it and I will rest the entire time, so no need to worry.
Please keep us in your prayers!
So I talked to my doctor today to discuss everything and he said that I am now on house rest and can only leave the house for appointments. Also, no more work, so it's disability for me! I can't cook or clean, or anything of that nature, so basically I have to just rest and lay around all day. Not too bad, I guess. I'm sure I'll be dying of boredom soon, but I'll do anything to keep these babies baking.
Just wanted to add that if anyone is thinking that Thanksgiving should now not be at our house, think again! I will want visitors more than ever, and this just allows more people to wait on me. I'm sure Rob will appreciate that. :) Seriously though, we are still having it and I will rest the entire time, so no need to worry.
Please keep us in your prayers!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Oh the possibilities...
The babies are looking good and I am now measuring 32 weeks! So I’ve grown 3 weeks in a one week period. Dr. K says this is totally normal though. I asked him how big I may get and he said it really completely varies, but the biggest he’s seen with a twin pregnancy is 62!! Um…that is scary.
So, I had a conversation with him about all of the possibilities of delivery and the conversation was not what I was hoping to hear. He knows that I do want a vaginal delivery and I do not want an epidural. There seem to be so many scenarios that can happen, and most do not include a drug free vaginal birth. I do realize that twins are riskier and I am very scared about not being able to bring these girls home, so I am going to listen to him…although I may argue a little along the way. I am trying to come to grips that I may have a c-section or an epidural and all that matters is healthy babies, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to cry if that happens. Anyway, here are the scenarios:
A) Baby A & Baby B head down=vaginal drug free delivery
B) Baby A head down & Baby B breech=vaginal delivery w/ epidural IF A is bigger (the epidural is because 1: I may need an emergency c-section and would need the epidural in place [he did give me the option that if I say no to the epidural and a c-section then becomes necessary, I would be put under general anesthesia...not cool] & 2: he may have to reach in and actually turn or pull the baby out with his hand and says I DO NOT want this done without drugs…I may agree with this)
C) Baby A head down & Baby B breech=scheduled c-section IF B is bigger (I will fight this one...he says if B is breech and is bigger, she may 'get stuck'. Ok, seriously? They're going to be small anyway...she is not going to 'get stuck'. If she did, he could reach in and grab her as stated above.)
D) Baby A & B breech=scheduled c-section
So those are my options. Also, no matter what happens, I will be delivering in an operating room, not a delivery room. Sigh. So, I am praying for healthy babies above all else, but also that both babies are head down! I will also resort to chiropractic and acupuncture to get the babies to turn if they are breech. Of course, I’m also going to just tell them that they need to turn and hope they listen to me…otherwise they will be grounded.
So, I had a conversation with him about all of the possibilities of delivery and the conversation was not what I was hoping to hear. He knows that I do want a vaginal delivery and I do not want an epidural. There seem to be so many scenarios that can happen, and most do not include a drug free vaginal birth. I do realize that twins are riskier and I am very scared about not being able to bring these girls home, so I am going to listen to him…although I may argue a little along the way. I am trying to come to grips that I may have a c-section or an epidural and all that matters is healthy babies, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to cry if that happens. Anyway, here are the scenarios:
A) Baby A & Baby B head down=vaginal drug free delivery
B) Baby A head down & Baby B breech=vaginal delivery w/ epidural IF A is bigger (the epidural is because 1: I may need an emergency c-section and would need the epidural in place [he did give me the option that if I say no to the epidural and a c-section then becomes necessary, I would be put under general anesthesia...not cool] & 2: he may have to reach in and actually turn or pull the baby out with his hand and says I DO NOT want this done without drugs…I may agree with this)
C) Baby A head down & Baby B breech=scheduled c-section IF B is bigger (I will fight this one...he says if B is breech and is bigger, she may 'get stuck'. Ok, seriously? They're going to be small anyway...she is not going to 'get stuck'. If she did, he could reach in and grab her as stated above.)
D) Baby A & B breech=scheduled c-section
So those are my options. Also, no matter what happens, I will be delivering in an operating room, not a delivery room. Sigh. So, I am praying for healthy babies above all else, but also that both babies are head down! I will also resort to chiropractic and acupuncture to get the babies to turn if they are breech. Of course, I’m also going to just tell them that they need to turn and hope they listen to me…otherwise they will be grounded.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
20 weeks
Stats:
20 weeks
Starting Weight: 147
Weight: 163
Waist @ bellybutton: 39.5"
How big are the babies? Length of bananas
I'm officially half way there! Well, technically, I'm more than half way, because I know I will not be going to 40 weeks. So my belly didn't grow for the first time since I was 8 weeks! I think the cruise week was overload or something and this past week was a week of belly rest. I did gain 1 pound though. Went to the doctors last week (19 1/2 weeks) and I am now measuring 29 weeks! The girls are kicking like crazy, which is very reassuring. It's pretty strange to feel kicks all over my entire belly, but it's also really cool. They're really strong now and usually feel about half of them from the outside. Sadly, Rob hasn't felt them yet, because he's never here. He has been working his little butt off with the business lately, even on the weekends. Poor guy. :( We are now thinking of hiring our second employee because we're getting so busy, which is great news. Then I'll get to see him more.
I'm now seeing the doctor once a week for the time being, more for peace of mind. As I inch closer to 23 weeks, I am trying not to be nervous, but can't help it. This is just one more hurdle for me to get through. We also started interviewing doulas and have two more interviews this week and will then make a decision. In case you're not sure what a doula is, check this out:
http://www.dona.org/mothers/index.php
20 weeks
Starting Weight: 147
Weight: 163
Waist @ bellybutton: 39.5"
How big are the babies? Length of bananas
I'm officially half way there! Well, technically, I'm more than half way, because I know I will not be going to 40 weeks. So my belly didn't grow for the first time since I was 8 weeks! I think the cruise week was overload or something and this past week was a week of belly rest. I did gain 1 pound though. Went to the doctors last week (19 1/2 weeks) and I am now measuring 29 weeks! The girls are kicking like crazy, which is very reassuring. It's pretty strange to feel kicks all over my entire belly, but it's also really cool. They're really strong now and usually feel about half of them from the outside. Sadly, Rob hasn't felt them yet, because he's never here. He has been working his little butt off with the business lately, even on the weekends. Poor guy. :( We are now thinking of hiring our second employee because we're getting so busy, which is great news. Then I'll get to see him more.
I'm now seeing the doctor once a week for the time being, more for peace of mind. As I inch closer to 23 weeks, I am trying not to be nervous, but can't help it. This is just one more hurdle for me to get through. We also started interviewing doulas and have two more interviews this week and will then make a decision. In case you're not sure what a doula is, check this out:
http://www.dona.org/mothers/index.php
Sunday, October 12, 2008
19 weeks
Stats:
19 weeks
Starting Weight: 147
Weight: 162
Waist @ bellybutton: 39.5"
How big are the babies? Large heirloom tomatoes
So we just got back from the cruise and we had a great time! It was really fun hanging out with the fam. :) I can't believe that I only gained 3 lbs this week...I ate soooo much! Rob gained 3 as well, which is pretty funny. I did start to have some issues this week and I think it's getting worse. Whenever I sit down, after about 15-30 minutes my left side starts to go numb from my hip down to my knee. Once everything is numb, I can feel my nerve being pinched, and it doesn't feel very good. I called my doctor on Friday and I see him on Wednesday, so he told me not to sit for longer than 30 minutes at a time until then...ha! Easier said than done. If it keeps getting worse, I think that I will be out of work sooner than I thought. I'm hoping the chiropractor will help with this as well, so I will try to see one this week.
We went to Apple Hill this weekend and took this weeks belly pic.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
18 weeks
Stats:
18 weeks
Starting Weight: 147
Weight: 159
Waist @ bellybutton: 38.5"
How big are the babies? Large bell peppers
I'm definitely feeling a lot more movement this week, which is pretty cool. You can't feel it on the outside yet, but hopefully in the next few weeks! I forgot to mention that my peri (high risk specialist) told that when twins have separate sacs, the chance of them being identical when you don't know the genders is 5%. When you find out they are the same gender, the chances go up to 10%. I guess we'll have to see what they look like when they come out! We can always confirm it with a blood test, but if they look totally different then we'll know.
Friday, October 3, 2008
We're having...
GIRLS!!! Yep, we've got two girls in there. I can't believe it! I really thought there was at least one boy in there, but I did have a dream a few weeks ago that it was two girls...so I was wrong and my dream was right! :)
They are both totally healthy and everything looks great. Today I am 17w5d and baby A is measuring 18w and baby B is measuring 17w5d exactly. They also both weigh 7 oz, which is great because they want to make sure they are growing the same. Baby A is completely below my belly button and Baby B is completely above my belly button. We confirmed that A is a little spunky and B is totally laid back so far. The tech kept commenting on how A wouldn't stop moving and was just so active and then B just laid there and waved a few times. It was pretty funny.
Ok, so I knew I was getting huge, but I didn't know I was this big. My belly is measuring 26 weeks! So I'm basically the size of someone that is 26 weeks and having one baby.
Baby A-profile
Baby A-It's a girl!
Baby B-profile
Baby B-It's a girl! (The whiteish thing on the inside of the left leg is the umbilical cord)
They are both totally healthy and everything looks great. Today I am 17w5d and baby A is measuring 18w and baby B is measuring 17w5d exactly. They also both weigh 7 oz, which is great because they want to make sure they are growing the same. Baby A is completely below my belly button and Baby B is completely above my belly button. We confirmed that A is a little spunky and B is totally laid back so far. The tech kept commenting on how A wouldn't stop moving and was just so active and then B just laid there and waved a few times. It was pretty funny.
Ok, so I knew I was getting huge, but I didn't know I was this big. My belly is measuring 26 weeks! So I'm basically the size of someone that is 26 weeks and having one baby.
Baby A-profile
Baby A-It's a girl!
Baby B-profile
Baby B-It's a girl! (The whiteish thing on the inside of the left leg is the umbilical cord)
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